For months my thoughts have been circling around a certain topic. It changes a bit with every reflection. I began to turn certain screws, to change perspectives, to break through patterns of behaviour, to adjust beliefs. But no matter what I do, I always come back to it. I’m talking about that dark place where the pain seems to get worse every time you try to run away from it. Like a hole in your soul that you can’t plug. So I gave up and accepted that ‘m in love again.With my old pain.
But what is this abyss and why do we keep returning there? And can something or someone save us from that perpetual game of our own name? From that primordial sin that’s deep within?
Or is it like a merry-go-round in which we have to spin around until we finally get sick and get off? But even after that we will be attracted to this carousel and avoid every fair in the future. Like a junkie.
Because it’s the same with the pain carousel. Something about it attracts us. That bittersweet pain that touches us deeply, that makes us feel life, that pulsating heartbeat in our veins. Scars that create legends. But there’s so much more to this room. Because even when we try to escape this place, we secretly know that there is a piece of our truth hidden there, which we cannot ignore. We cannot overshadow our shadow. We cannot even bring light into the darkness.
Because in this abyss you tear down your walls and smack awake.
All we can do is look closer and accept that it is there. Maybe we even manage to stay there a little bit longer every now and then. And if we are trained, we might even be able to transform pain into art. And by art I mean creation of any kind. Whether you write a song, paint a picture or develop a business idea. In the darkest moments there is an unfathomable potential hidden. Because when we follow our pain, we come close to the truth. And the truth is decisive for your personal perception of reality. The perspective makes an enormous difference. Our shadow, our pain, our abyss is a part of us that simply belongs to us. However, if we see it as a black spot that must be suppressed, we miss something crucial. Our self. Because in this abyss you tear down your walls and smack awake.
Your deaths purpose is to shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new shades can get in and make you so desperate and out of control that you have to transform your life.
I am dressed to kill in my old skin and ready to fall in love with my old pain over and over again.
Founder of ÂME DITATION. In her meditation sessions, she takes you deep into unexpected levels of consciousness to free infinite potential.